Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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