How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
