Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
