Do vagina's smell?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
do nipples grow back?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize