I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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