i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
