Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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