I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
