it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
