yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
