You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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