is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
i now understand why vodka
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
