Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
