Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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