i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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