Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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