theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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