No awkward lesbian experiences without me
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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