I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize