i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
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