I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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