Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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