Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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