i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
