TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
