THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I AM VODKA MAN
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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