3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize