i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
