My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
