I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
