I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Randomize
