Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
