Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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