Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize