im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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