I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
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It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
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Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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