Me too!
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
