Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
