i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
