the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
