so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
