I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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