we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
