there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
