how can u be prego again
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
