Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize