I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
