butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
