Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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