Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize