I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
