I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
