It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
