my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
it's great music for shaving your balls
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
