IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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