i think my mom watched the whole time
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
