Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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