My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
