yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You have to summon your inner elephant
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
