hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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