I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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