my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
