If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
