How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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