I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize