nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
