Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
