somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
then he tried to convert me to islam
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
